fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
