i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
