No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
