the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
