All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
As shirtless as possible
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize