I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
