I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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