I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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