But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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