The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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