Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
