When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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