just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
