I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
