sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
