is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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