okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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