i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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