the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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