Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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