Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His nipple licking is glorious
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