the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
