Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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