There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
