holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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