Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
