wrigley field is MILF paradise
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
