so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
