I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just had sex bonerless
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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