I am puke
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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