we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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