i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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