i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Come see our sink grown plant.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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