I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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