It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
