Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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