The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
