Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
