She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
