just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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