ugly people sure do ruin things
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
