What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
