I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
