we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
