Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
