i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
