I think my fart just growled at me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
