If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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