I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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