the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
