Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
