Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
