Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
