You're my little dorito
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
