Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
