Where did you get a picture of my penis
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
