they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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