But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
