uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
