I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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