my mouth tastes like poor choices
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
