In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
